Romantic Taurus love horoscope

You set your sights too high, it's time to lower them in order to find true love. Be aware that marrying your own pets is not allowed in most countries.

Sweet, sticky, orange stuff. Possibly marmalade or an orange lolly. We're not quite sure what it is, or what it has to do with you today...but it definitely features. If you don't like orange - don't panic! It might taste like something completely different, like sausages. Or beans. Yes, it could be beans.

When your lover starts wearing more clothes to bed than to work, it's a good guess that your happiness is close to being over. This week will see the start of such bizarre occurences.