Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.
Clowns with pickaxes will haunt your dreams tonight and will affect you at around mid-morning the following day. The effect of such dreams will cause you to a) be tired, b) look startled when people slam the door, or c) be nice to any clowns you meet.
Many things that people say over the coming days will appear nonsensical, but may start to make sense towards the end of the week.
The size of your shoes indicates that you are unlikely to fall over in a mild earthquake.
This week is going to be one of those "trials by fire" type nightmares that happen every so often. I wish I could give you more details but then you'd have no good reason to return over the coming days, would you? The likelihood is that you're going to feel very miserable about it and for a few days you might sport a "pout" that could actually win awards.
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