CapricornBirth date: 22 December - 19 January
Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.
The good thing about the internet is that no-one knows quite how disturbingly grotesque you look. The very thought of coming up with a horoscope for you made me laugh. You may be the most pathetic thing I've ever come across - but DON'T BE SAD! You are on the verge of a massive breakthrough.
Your computer is filled with Spyware. Please find a way to clean it without forcing me to dole out solicitations to various websites and their software.