Your free, funny Capricorn horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Capricorn

Capricorn

Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

Minor changes to your driving style allows you to feel like you're a better driver, but actually are making your behaviour quite erratic. You do look remarkably fetching today, and I'd like to offer you a fish supper.

Speak slowly and you will be heard. People will think you're being a dick, but people will definitely understand you.

Life will throw many things at you over the coming months, including a book-shelf which you probably should have ensured was fixed more firmly to the wall.

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