Your free, funny Capricorn horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Capricorn

Capricorn

Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

Someone will approach you today with an attitude you cannot get on with at all. The food of love is music, only if it's Phil Collins and he's feeding you some kind of grapes whilst offering many of his nieces to you.

Live like you would like and you will part this world a happier person. Although you may spend a good deal of your life in jail.

"Going Dutch" does not mean having it away with 4 people at once whilst smoking a jewel encrusted pipe.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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