Your free, funny Capricorn horoscope for today

Capricorn

Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

All the things you're unsure of will almost certainly remain enigmatic by the end of the day. Tantric is not a cuss-word you want to use around the office. It's not even a cuss-word. It is, however, said to be very exhausting.

One man cannot make himself into an army of super-strength midgets. No matter what his budget.

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