19 people currently viewing2nd September 2015

Your free, funny Capricorn horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Capricorn


Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

The good thing about the internet is that no-one knows quite how disturbingly grotesque you look. The very thought of coming up with a horoscope for you made me laugh. You may be the most pathetic thing I've ever come across - but DON'T BE SAD! You are on the verge of a massive breakthrough.

Your computer is filled with Spyware. Please find a way to clean it without forcing me to dole out solicitations to various websites and their software.

Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?

Something Funny

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on one of these things:

Taurus horoscope

Two heads are better than one if you're trying to get a team together. Many of your charms will leave you today, and......

Full horoscope
Get our funny weekly newsletter
Subscribe to funny newsletter