Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

Ensure your blood stays within your system today by not venturing further than your refridgerator. Don't try to tell people how to live their lives! Your life is your own, and you should feel perfectly free to bugger it up royally.

Up to your neck in debt? Today might be the day you strike it lucky and catch the television advert that claims they can help you. They really want to help too, they love you. It doesn't matter whether you have a criminal record of CCJs, or whatever. Heck, if they could, they'd have your babies. Seriously. There's a lot of love between you and that random debt-help company.