18 people currently viewing24th May 2015

Your Funny Capricorn Horoscope for Today

Astrological sign for Capricorn


Birth date: 22 December - 19 January

Your capricorn horoscope is a daily reminder of how wonderful you are, but also (we hope) capable of cheering you up when you're a bit down.

You are easily replaced - don't take your boots off. When aiming for greatness, set your sights to "better than greatness"...and when you fail like a miserable shit, you'll at least be able to blame it on trying too hard.

There may be trouble ahead...but while there's moonlight and music and love and romance, the blow caused by the venereal disease you are about to become infected with, will be somewhat softened.

Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?

Something Funny

Funny stuff

Get our funny weekly newsletters straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny newsletter
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on one of these things:

Pisces horoscope

Go with the flow and let people take advantage of you. "For Topical Application Only" - words which might cause you......

Full horoscope
Get our funny weekly newsletter
Subscribe to funny newsletter