Taurus
Birth date: 20 April - 20 MayHave fun with your Taurus daily horoscope, filled with astrology and... zodiac. And psychic things, too, about you and every other member of your zodiacal tribe.
When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.
God is very much a vengeful god, so watch out for falling pianos. (God is also a 'Laurel and Hardy' fan.)
You think you're so advanced, but when was the last time monkeys had to worry about their finances?
Seek advice from someone older today in order to avoid making a fool of yourself.
Jump to another horoscope »
Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?
Our most popular funny stories
Copyright © 2022