Your free, funny Taurus horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Taurus

Taurus

Birth date: 20 April - 20 May

Have fun with your Taurus daily horoscope, filled with astrology and... zodiac. And psychic things, too, about you and every other member of your zodiacal tribe.

If you mis-use the word literally once more today ("I *literally* laughed my ass off"), you're going to feel what it's like to be hit "upside the head".

All your better ideas have already been stolen and used in the past. Which perhaps suggests you should prefix "crackpot" to the unofficial title you give yourself.

You think you're so advanced, but when was the last time monkeys had to worry about their finances?

You are not anyone's "bitch".

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