Your free, funny Taurus horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Taurus

Taurus

Birth date: 20 April - 20 May

Have fun with your Taurus daily horoscope, filled with astrology and... zodiac. And psychic things, too, about you and every other member of your zodiacal tribe.

When opening the door for a stranger, take care to notice any loose change that they may drop so that you can slam the door in their face, grab the money, and then run for dear life.

God is very much a vengeful god, so watch out for falling pianos. (God is also a 'Laurel and Hardy' fan.)

You think you're so advanced, but when was the last time monkeys had to worry about their finances?

Seek advice from someone older today in order to avoid making a fool of yourself.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

Get Daily Taurus Horoscopes in your Inbox

Get your daily horoscope newsletter

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  

Looking for more funny star sign related laughs?

Our most popular funny stories




Interested to know if Yesterday's Horoscope was correct?

Funny stuff

Get our daily horoscope newsletter straight to your inbox
Subscribe to funny horoscope newsletter
... AND CLICK
or Find out more first

Consider checking us out and following us on social media:

More from Laughsend

Tourism booming in Venezuela: A Laughsend Special Report   Punny History  
Write for Laughsend - it's easy and fun!
Free sign up / Login
Funny newsletter Funny RSS feed