Your free, funny Cancer horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Cancer

Cancer

Birth date: 22 June - 22 July

The following is your Cancer horoscope for today, and we hope you enjoy reading our funny attempt at astrology.

Music is likely to help you through today, so try to listen to as much as possible. Since last month you have been finding it harder and harder to have fun. This month may see a big change.

Just desserts is a damn good name for a dessert company. Which is why approximately 90 firms are currently trading under that name.

Clowns with pickaxes will haunt your dreams tonight and will affect you at around mid-morning the following day. The effect of such dreams will cause you to a) be tired, b) look startled when people slam the door, or c) be nice to any clowns you meet.

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