Cancer
Birth date: 22 June - 22 JulyThe following is your Cancer horoscope for today, and we hope you enjoy reading our funny attempt at astrology.
Alcohol can be a man's best friend - not a dog...well, perhaps a dog who's been pickled in alcohol. Christmas may seem like it's just around the corner, but really that's just nonsense.
All this week you are set for uncontrollable setbacks to all your plans. There's nothing you can do, so you might as well start being awful to people you suspect might cause your setbacks.
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