Your free, funny Cancer horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Cancer

Cancer

Birth date: 22 June - 22 July

The following is your Cancer horoscope for today, and we hope you enjoy reading our funny attempt at astrology.

Complete the sentence: "My day will be really shitty today because my boss will find out that I surf the internet for ________ hours daily." Any beer consumed tonight may come back to haunt you, possibly in the form of a dead comedian or Max Bygraves.

It's never too late to accept that you're a complete fraud.

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