Your free, funny Cancer horoscope for today

Astrological sign for Cancer

Cancer

Birth date: 22 June - 22 July

The following is your Cancer horoscope for today, and we hope you enjoy reading our funny attempt at astrology.

Love makes the world go round, and peaches make a very nice accompaniment to sweetcorn. The worry you're feeling is unnecessary...because you can't avoid the horrors that await.

You are a carrier bag and life is one big supermarket. Now you're fully engrossed in that analogy, I want you to think of me as the store announcer. "Clean up in aisle 12". That's as exciting as it gets.

Most of what you do may be questioned this week - however, you will fly through those questions with ease and be praised for your general application.

Given Time, by Paul London Given Time, by Paul London

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