Scorpio
Birth date: 24 October - 21 November
News will come from a former colleague that for years you have both been in love with each other. This will be a surprise for you because you've always thought your colleague was a smelly baboon.
Deft swift strokes of the hand when writing may be the turn-on that a work-chum needs to show their true feelings for you. However, that love may vanish when they realise that the letter is a final written warning and a suggestion that they clear out their desks before security arrive.
Only love can break your heart...but trans-fatty acids will also have a damn good try.