Why do we...

I love horoscopes, I really, genuinely do. OK, perhaps I'm being a little patronising because I think horoscopes are the most bizarre and terrible way of forecasting. All of this does not change the fact that astrology genuinely makes me very happy.

I don't make a living out of attacking astrologers (indeed, I DO NOT attack them!). I do not think that astrologers are frauds, for example. I do think they are deluded but that simply doesn't add up to the same thing. There's very little point in my arguing the case against astrology because it is the same reason that most astrology-bashers use. This is a tricky article to write because I really don't intend to bash astrology or to attack astrologers, and yet it's also difficult not to appear that I am.

Please, trust me, I have no reason to, nor interest in, attacking you, your beliefs, or the talents of horoscope writers worldwide who give pleasure to hundreds of thousands of people (if not millions!) daily. I don't intend to "educate you", or patronise you with reasons who you're "stupid to believe". You are, of course, fully entitled to believe in what you will and neither I nor anyone else has any right to tell you anything regarding your beliefs.

 

I don't believe in astrology

I don't believe in astrology, either personal or by star-sign. I have never had a personal reading because it doesn't interest me and I refuse to pay for something which is (in my opinion, remember) so utterly useless. Generally speaking I don't believe in a lot of things that require belief. But that's really not what Laughsend's horoscopes are about. We're not lampooning astrlogy, we are lampooing horoscopes.

You have to admit, no matter what your affiliation, that horoscopes are almost completely useless. Come on, don't get angry, just look at it for a second: one twelfth of the population (or, perhaps you could argue, readership) is given the same horoscope. Immediately, alarm bells ought to be going off. Then you look at the content of the horoscopes and they do say things like:

"Today you might be in an expansive and optimistic mood..."

OK, I got this from MSN horoscopes (a great resource by the way, I fully recommend it for those who are interested in astrlogy). It says "might". Might?! At least be more sure of your prediction. OK, OK, I'm being a bit mean, of course they have to hedge their bets. But my overarching point is this: the sentiment, advice and predictions in these horoscopes are utterly and fabulously mundane. That's what I like about them, I love how they mean so little yet appear to promise so much. I enjoy the way that two or more star-signs share very, very similar readings in every set of 12 horoscopes. I find comedy in the fact that they rotate the readings every so often (if not actually, then certainly by the meaning of the content, they do).

"It sounds like you're bashing it!"

I know, I know. And I really don't want to - my amusement is sincere (if that's not patronizing). I love horoscopes and I feel that most astrlogers are perfectly geniune people.

Hopefully now you have a better idea of how Laughsend addresses its horoscopes section.

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Aries horoscope

The loony-left is a phrase that you quite like. Your people need you, you must fight for their freedom. Danger, excitement,......

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