World Sci / Tech

Virus created by Anti-Virus company to install anti-virus software on all computers

story image about Anti-virus virus viral anti-viral
Report story

Anti-Virus company GorillaV has today released its very own virus into the wild, against its very creed and ethos. However, this virus is different to the ones you normally see the company fighting against - this one actually installs anti-virus software. 

It's a bold move, and potentially a very exciting and creative one that, if successful, should mean that not only will all computers be protected against viruses, but the company itself should become the number 1 anti-virus company in the world.

"For us, it's win-win," claimed GorillaV spokesperson Jane Dorrocks. "We'll trounce all the other anti-virus companies, and we'll be protecting the world. To be honest, the first one is the most important by far. When do you want to start this interview?"

However, some are skeptical about the move, suggesting that creating a virus, regardless of final intentions, is clearly against the whole ethos of the anti-virus community. Other wags have also suggested the the move creates a Catch-22 that won't ever be broken, and might actually cause a rift in the space-time continuum.

"It's trippy. I mean, it's a virus that installs anti-virus. But an anti-virus program should always not only remove the immediate virus threat, but also clean up the effects of any virus, which surely includes the anti-virus program as well. But their own anti-virus will be programmed not to do that successfully, and so it's just a merry-go-round."





The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Xbox One console accessories

Xbox One to be sold without processor

World Sci / Tech 0

Microsoft's flagship games console the Xbox One will from June be sold in the US and UK without a microprocessor. The move is said to be a marketing strategy to place the all-important...

read more
11 years ago
thumbnail for item Baby spiders

Baby spiders grow up to be grown-up spiders

World 0

America's first lady, Michelle Obama, has shocked the world today with the revelation that baby spiders grow up to become adult spiders. The news came in a press conference ordered...

read more
11 years ago

Comments

#1 @ 11 years ago
by corinne_mccarty-mclean - Quiet veteran

I've just stroked my beard. I don't have a beard. The thing about commenting when I feel like this... is that there's nothing really to say.

11 comments, registered 11 years ago
#2 @ 11 years ago
by plantation-wheel152 - Quiet veteran

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

I've just stroked my beard. I don't have a beard. The thing about commenting when I feel like this... is that there's nothing really to say.

SURE, WHY NOT. OHB OY...

19 comments, registered 11 years ago
#3 @ 11 years ago
by WILLIAMDUKE7 - Quiet veteran

plantation-wheel152 wrote

corinne_mccarty-mclean wrote

I've just stroked my beard. I don't have a beard. The thing about commenting when I feel like this... is that there's nothing really to say.

SURE, WHY NOT. OHB OY...

seems silly. :)

12 comments, registered 11 years ago
#4 @ 11 years ago
by ORYX-HOLE7 - Ghost

hey - i thought it was ok. want a feeling this sort of garbage might just take over my entire life.

9 comments, registered 11 years ago
#5 @ 11 years ago
by thomas hardy - Ghost

ORYX-HOLE7 wrote

hey - i thought it was ok. want a feeling this sort of garbage might just take over my entire life.

I didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. Snore.

9 comments, registered 11 years ago
#6 @ 11 years ago
by Adjustment-Offer7 - Ghost

thomas hardy wrote

ORYX-HOLE7 wrote

hey - i thought it was ok. want a feeling this sort of garbage might just take over my entire life.

I didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. Snore.

I just don't get it. I guess.

6 comments, registered 11 years ago
#7 @ 11 years ago
by ORYX-HOLE7 - Ghost

thomas hardy wrote

ORYX-HOLE7 wrote

hey - i thought it was ok. want a feeling this sort of garbage might just take over my entire life.

I didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. Snore.

whatever. i doubt this is accurate.

9 comments, registered 11 years ago
#8 @ 11 years ago
by Kathryn_Robinson - Quiet veteran

ORYX-HOLE7 wrote

thomas hardy wrote

ORYX-HOLE7 wrote

hey - i thought it was ok. want a feeling this sort of garbage might just take over my entire life.

I didn't read this because it neither irritated nor pleased me. I also make obvious comments in real life. Snore.

whatever. i doubt this is accurate.

i genuinely enjoy the material on this website

12 comments, registered 11 years ago

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.


Scorpio horoscope

I've written hundreds upon hundreds of horoscopes, but this one is the most special. You are not a sham, nor are you......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed