America's first lady, Michelle Obama, has shocked the world today with the revelation that baby spiders grow up to become adult spiders. The news came in a press conference ordered by the first lady, in what is increasingly becoming a political position, rather than one of marriage.
"It is astonishing to me," she said in the conference, "that knowledge of this problem is so poorly understood; that so few governments around the world are willing to stand up and be counted on this pressing and worrying issue. It is apparent that the lack of information on this subject is a growing epidemic which can only get worse. Until we rise up and are willing to be counted, the world will be blind to the issue of spider growth, and the US will stand alone in its superior knowledge of biology."
Michelle Obama then proceeded to hold up a plaque, declaring her revelation, with the hashtag #spidersgrowintomonsters.
The first lady's call-to-arms is something of a shock to the rest of the globe, many of the people in which are already aware of the situation she has outlined. One random person, Jack Banning from Johannesburg, South Africa, was happy to declare that he already knew what Mrs Obama was attempting to educate the world with:
"Baby spiders become... what? Is this news? They grow into adult spiders? Well, yes, of course. I don't understand."
The first lady's husband, (who has a job but we can't remember what it is) Barack Obama is currently unable to speak due to the large palm on his face. No, not the plant, silly person.
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