Fake weather forecast tomorrow

Sun afraid, hiding from pointy birds

Tomorrow's weather report

21st June 2022

Bright and breezy with light snow in the north. Disturbing slivers of autumn elsewhere. The likely scenario for dawn or some other short period we can't possibly predict suggests it has a 90-95% chance of being damp for the morning, with the afternoon exploding into fresh. Temperatures are expected to plummit which can cause sudden outbreaks of people in socks and sandles.

For anyone addicted to caffeine, the likely trend indicates things start to brighten up. It'll be damp and/or moist and fruity for much of today, with occasional and sometimes eternal heavy or light fog.

Thunderstorms are not expected in your area, although people are being warned to be careful in case this changes, the chances of which are undetermined.

This week's silly weather forecast

Sun afraid, hiding from pointy birds
-2°c
28.4°F
Tue
Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds
33°c
91.4°F
Wed
Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds
38°c
100.4°F
Thu
Limbless sheep retailiating against pointy birds
41°c
105.8°F
Fri
Limbless sheep being attacked by pointy birds
25°c
77°F
Sat
Sun VERY afraid, hiding from pointy birds
19°c
66.2°F
Sun
A sheep with no limbs would taste as sweet...
33°c
91.4°F
Mon



You know how it goes - you predict what today's weather report is going to be like and some smart-guy will come up to you and say "You're so stupid I ought to wrench your eyes out with a wrench." And when you're all out of witty replies, what can you do but say "Fair game, you got me. I'm at least half as stupid as two of you would be."

But anyway, yeah, today's weather forecast is a doddle to fake compared to tomorrow's report. But here goes anyway. Watch out, world.

Please note that we're not responsible for the actual weather.

Given Time, by Paul London

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