2015 Beard and Moustache championships interrupted by hairless woman

This year's Beard and Moustache championships, taking place for the first time in Venezuela, have been interrupted by what has been described by witnesses as a "hairless woman". Initial reports suggested the interloper may have been Hillary Clinton; Fox News ran an entire four hour segment on the item until it was proven not to be the blonde-haired Democrat. The woman, said to weigh between 60 and 80 pounds, was apparently naked, except for a small gardening implement, possibly a trowel, which she carried menacingly in her hand.

The championships are a yearly event, taking place generally in a large indoor or outdoor arena, with "styling tents" dotted around the area. This is the fourth time Venezuela has held the event, which has so far been a great success, popular with locals who have taken the time out to camp and caravan in the surrounding fields. The interruption appears to have given the championships a boost, with those media companies who originally descended from the "Clinton" angle staying to see whether there is any further material worth gathering.

We spoke to one of the original witnesses, Consuela Jones from the UK:

"It was weird. She ran in with something shiny in her hand that at first I thought was a knife - that was frightening. But as she came closer I realised it wasn't a knife, it was more like a tiny spade. Weird. Then it occurred to me that she was completely naked and hairless - like a circus freak, or maybe a Barbie doll that's survived a plane crash."

Miss Jones, 84, is at the championships hoping to take the title of Hairiest Woman - and believe us when we say that she is surely a contender.

The organisers of the event have so far issued no direct statement about the disruption, but insiders have said that they are secretly "very aroused" by the event.