Satire story: End of The World Is Still Nigh (not According To Atheists)

Terrified 'believers' are calling for a recall of ALL TRUMPETS since hearing about Ron Weinland's prophecy. Seven Trumpets are to be heard heralding the end of the world. Too late for the first one, which End of The World Is Still Nigh (not According To Atheists)Satire about

Sagittarius horoscope

You may become a danger to yourself this week, especially if you plan to surgically implant spikes on the ends of......