Satire story: Jonathan Coulton Or Michael Bolton Quiz

Can you tell which of this songs is by Internet music sensation Jonathan Coulton and which is by pop star Michael Bolton (not the guy in Office Space)? This quiz is taken directly from The Jonathan Coulton Or Michael Bolton QuizSatire about

Aquarius horoscope

You must also smell as sweet as you look. Terrible things will happen to someone you hate today. You may feel joyous....