Satire story: Lock In At No.10?

Mystery surrounds Gordon Brown's early trip to B&Q this morning. Mr Brown left before 8am. returning with hammer, nails and a bundle of planks. Observers say that for the next hour banging and swearing was heard Lock In At No.10?Satire about

Pisces horoscope

Tomatoes can be your best friend - go Red for the day. * This horoscope is not sponsored by Heinz, or the Communist......