Satire story: Matt Cardle Not Gay! Shock Christmas Announcement!

This year's X-Factor winner, Matt Cardle, has shocked the music industry by announcing in his new book that he is not at all gay, and that he likes doing press-ups with ladies, as opposed to Matt Cardle Not Gay! Shock Christmas Announcement!Satire about

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The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants......

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