Microsoft vs. General motors

One of those emails that goes around and around for years, Microsoft vs. General motors is a joke email that takes the rip out of the way Microsoft creates operating systems. Yes, that's right, the operating systems we use every day and usually have no problem with. But, in the same way that everyone complains about the weather, it's a joy to rip on microsoft. Anyway, Microsoft jokes are always funny and always worth publishing.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly
compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had
kept up with the technology like the computer industry has, we would all
be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press
release stating, "If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would
all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

• For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.


• Every time they painted new lines on the road, you would have to buy a new car.


• Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would
  have to pull over to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
  restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.
  For some reason you would simply accept this.


• Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your
  car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
  reinstall the engine.


• Only one person at a time could use the car unless you bought "CarNT,"
  but then you would have to buy more seats.


• Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
  five times as fast and twice as easy to drive-but it would only run on five
  percent of the roads.


• The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would all be
  replaced by a single "general protection fault" warning light.


• The airbag system would ask, "Are you sure?" before deploying.


• Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you
  out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door
  handle,turned the key and grabbed hold of the antenna.


• GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set
  of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither
  need nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately
  cause the car's performance to diminish by 50 percent or more. Moreover, GM
  would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.


• Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers would have to
  learn to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in
  the same manner as the old car.


• You'd have to press the "start" button to turn the system off.