Satire story: Pussy Assaulted By Pussy!

GRIMSBY, Lincolnshire - Yes, yes, enough with the pussy jokes, already! But as a West Virginia Confederate in Queen Elizabeth's Court (or so I'd like to be), I cannot pass up this one last (right Pussy Assaulted By Pussy!Satire about

Virgo horoscope

The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants......