Satire story: Robert Pattinson Buys An Illegal Bike

In a truly bohemian act of fearless iconoclasm worthy of the pallid Dracula parody that he so gorgeously and hauntingly is (pass my fan, mother, for I am a-swooning), wan, elegantly-wasted Twilight childe-vampyre Robert Pattinson Buys An Illegal BikeSatire about

Scorpio horoscope

For what it's worth, today is going to be very short. Which is a very good thing for you. Danger, excitement, thrills....