Satire story: Royal Wedding Cauldron Now Outselling B-b-q Says B&q

A B&Q survey discovered that most people would much rather place their vitals in a cauldron of boiling water than watch a pair of privileged chancers, while eating burned sausages and waving plastic flags. Royal Wedding Cauldron Now Outselling B-b-q Says B&qSatire about

Virgo horoscope

The countries that have issued orders for your arrest will close in today and cause you to go without clean pants......