Disease affects the immune system, claims european quack

Here at Laughsend we have very little time for "Doctors" or, for that matter, any "professional" in any field. So when we hear the latest quackery from "Europe", stating that disease is capable of affecting the human immune system, we decide to investigate not the claim itself, but instead the individuals involved. You'll note our judicious use of quotation marks as ways of depicting our withering sarcasm.

"Dr" Herman Spelling, a man with so many letters after his name we'd assume it would make a very good scrabble score, if they allowed the use of proper nouns, which they don't. Or if they allowed abbreviations. Which they don't. Come to think of it, it would make a lousy scrabble word because some bugger would ask for adjudication and before you know it Richard's off making a coffee while Justin's sitting back looking mightily fucking pleased with himself. Anyway, Dr Spelling is the co-author of the report, along with a woman doctor who we don't even need to name check because we're quite sure she can't really have done anything except maybe tidy up the lab after the menfolk. Spelling says that disease, right - the thing where your body is not quite right and is poorly - can actually mean that the human immune system that was created by God, along with Jaffa Cakes, can no longer function effectively against other new inbound disease.

I mean, come off it Mr Spelling! This is pure EU anti-British-sausage nonsense! The immune system is a perfect system that can produce new antibodies at will. We all took high-school biology, so all know this is true. This is just scaremongering at its worst and finest, all at the same time. It's common sense that the proliferation of disease is something that affects only the weak, the impoverished or the lazy - a lower class issue at best, and hardly worth our time and/or tax money spent on. Think on, Spelling, before you investigate any more of this garbage.

Parts of this article have been syndicated with the Daily Mail.