Made up news made me feel made up, claims scouser

story image about Artists impression of a satire news item website
Report story

A woman from Liverpool, UK, has today claimed that fake news websites like Laughsend help get her through difficult days. Valerie Dawkins, 42, has long since extolled the virtues of various "alternative" medicines and theories, including gem stones, tarot, horoscopes and anal beading. But today she has added spoof news to the long list of things that really help her smile.

"You know, when I read some stories about stuff that I know isn't true... well, I'll tell you, hand on my heart, I'm made up. I mean, I can get up in a morning, and I'm swearing cos I know even though I'm paying her £4.80 an hour, I'm going to have to wake the maid up. So while I'm waiting for my cup of tea, I'll put on my make up, just cos I like to do everything in life being at least a little made up. Then I go downstairs, and put on the telly and it'll depress me so much. I can't stand real life, it really gets on my tits.

"So I'll slap on a bit of the internet, and boom! There you go - check out the made up news, and I'm made up! I love it all: spoof, satire, parody - even jokes about scousers being scum and stealing stuff, it's all good."

Mrs Dawkins is not married to an ex-Premier League footballer, but if she was, I reckon she'd go for someone really clever. 

A Laughsend spokesperson was not available for comment, though to be honest I don't think we're missing much.

The funny news item you've just read is FICTITIOUS. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

Headlines like this

thumbnail for item Facebook meltdown

IP Spoofer gets lost online

World Business 0

It was a normal day on the internet - Max Headlong was using his computer when he saw an advert that promised to "hide his identity" and "maximise online privacy"....

read more
11 years ago
thumbnail for item Now the flowers flourish

Sahara Desert blooms -thanks to colonic irrigation

World 0

O.K! , so you've had your workout in the gym, pierced every available part of your anatomy and tattooed the rest. What body statement is left for the cool Millennium babe? The answer can only be colonic irrigation....

read more
23 years ago


This content hasn't made people froth at the mouth with comments yet. Why not be the first to add one?

To add a comment you must first sign up and login.

Aquarius horoscope

"Shout, shout, let it all out." A rhyming message which can really help you out today. Cat hair is an excellent source......

Full horoscope

More from Laughsend

thumbnail for Celine Dion news story Titanic Wreck Scanned, Celine Dion Weeps With Envy thumbnail for Bush news story George W Bush to Take Over as the New Host of The Price is Right and Finally Find the Weapons of Mass Destruction
Funny RSS feed