World Business

IP Spoofer gets lost online

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It was a normal day on the internet - Max Headlong was using his computer when he saw an advert that promised to "hide his identity" and "maximise online privacy".

Thinking this sounded "chipper", Max downloaded the necessary software, ran a couple of programs and bingo! No longer was Max a visible unit on the internet - a renegade, like someone from the A-Team, perhaps BA Baracus but with a more sensible haircut.

Max had spoofed his IP address. It's a technique common amongst the paranoid (those who would wipe down the seat of a public transport vehicle before sitting), cyber-hackers (who need anonymity to steal your credit cards and babies), and of course, the spammers (who want to force you to watch XXX girls drown in the "offloading" of a donkey).

Now spoofed, Max was clear to surf the internet the way he wanted to. Once he'd visited all his regular bookmarks, he paused. Then he visited them again. On the third visit, the true genius of his anonymous surfing hit him like a brick hitting a pregnant dwarf. Max noticed that he was seeing adverts that weren't tailor made to his own tastes. He saw web-counters shift nervously when he visited a web page, unsure what the hell had just happened and unwilling to take the risk by updating the counter to "3121". People were ignoring his racist, ageist, sexist rants on the equality forums he was visiting and trolling upon.

Max was free.

But then someone told him to get lost...and he did

Not quite sure what to do now, Max decided to go "underground", searching for some of the more disturbing things that sprang to mind. Whilst browsing a KKK-only swingers site, Max suddenly disappeared. Whenever he put his fingers near his keyboard, his body would eerily begin to disappear, like a creepy water spreading inwards from his fingers, Max would become entirely invisible. Pulling his hands away would cause the cloak to tear away and he would be left visible again.

Shocked by his discovery, Max wanted to share his news...but to his shock he realised that the only people he knew well enough to inform them of this, were online buddies. It was quite the dilemma.

Then he woke up. Dribble, spreading across the keyboard like the invisibility cloak he had dreamed of.

Laughsend would like to apologise for this story as the author apparently got very bored of his own dumb and shallow idea. For a full refund of hilarity, please visit another page.

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