World

Sahara Desert blooms -thanks to colonic irrigation

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O.K! , so you've had your workout in the gym, pierced every available part of your anatomy and tattooed the rest. What body statement is left for the cool Millennium babe? The answer can only be colonic irrigation.

This "spring cleaning" of the innards, once confined to royalty and the seriously wealthy is now widely available to all upwardly mobile chicks. Consequently, due to increased demand, disposal of the effluent posed great problems.

TECHNICAL BIT
Over many years, the colon builds up vast deposits of minerals. Typically, these are rare elements, some of which, thanks to the fall out from nuclear bombs, are radioactive!

Whilst rich in nutrients, therefore, the colonic effluent is considered to be too toxic to dispose of down the drains.

BACK TO THE STORY BIT

So what to do? The answer was unbelievably simple! -spray the effluent over a less populated part of the world (and hope nobody would notice )

But where? -Again it was so obvious - the Sahara Desert!

To achieve this goal, a modified Jumbo Jet was constructed and the effluent was collected daily and pumped aboard the huge aircraft.

Each night, the plane delivered its 300 tonnes of waste as an atomised spray, from a height of 6 miles. Sophisticated computers and satellite positioning software ensured that the waste was spread evenly. Hence, over a 2 year period, the whole of the mighty Sahara had been "blanket sprayed"

The results were spectacular beyond belief!
Slowly the desert sand formed a soil-like crust and then became green as all forms of plant life sprung into being.

The local tribes people who were at first suspicious of the "brown rain" came to worship the silver bird that brought them such prosperity. Even Sheik Ahmed thanked the kindly Westerners for restoring his manhood, as the follically challenged chieftain's hair grew back due to its daily soak in the magic elixir.

Chuck Yeager, the W.W.2 veteran pilot of the Jumbo Jet summed up the feeling of bonhomie when he quipped "I spent the war bombing the crap out of this place and now I'm bombing the crap back into it!"

Surely a good philosophy for life.

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