A vaccine has been developed by Austrian Scientists that experts say could eradicate autism. The vaccine, labelled by the lab that developed it as STv.p1d, has particularly caught the attention of so-called "anti-vaccers", a group of obnoxiously loud radicals who believe, regardless of proof, that certain vaccinations can actually be the cause of autism.
"This sounds amazing," said one anti-vaccer, Jean Therapie. "If true then we can basically pack our home-made denim satchels and Tesla the heck out of here. Veggies for life!"
Some, however, are skeptical of the claims. Gary Glitter (no relation) from Laughingstate University's Sports department told us:
"I don't know why you're interviewing me, but sure - I'll give you my opinion. Vaccinations are for sissy girls who like to puff their way around the track complaining about asthma, claiming that Daddy hates them and Mummy's shagging Uncle Peter. Well, I don't care for it. When I was a lad my father pierced me with a whole draw full of rusty cutlery, and did I get tetanus? You're damn right I did. Nearly died too. But am I the stronger for it? No. But it taught me a valuable lesson. Always watch small boys getting changed for P.E. You never know what they're hiding."
The vaccine is yet to undergo peer review or any form of testing, so hopes are at this point low. While scientists don't actually know what can cause autism, most believe that a simple cure will not be found for the condition, and is instead likely to require some combination of drug, gene therapy, or environmental prevention.