Carl Key

The beautiful monster that is Carl Key

Although four prongs short of a fork, Carl is hoping to accidentally castrate himself in the near future. Although rumours abound about Carl, the former winner of "tiniest organ award" has forgotten how to read the word hypnogogic with falling into a coma.

On 4th July, 1951, Carl was picked up, while panhandling for scraps, by unfortunately bearded-talent scout Dave Carney, who regularly shares his food with a tortoise. Carl - gradually turning into a crayon drawing he did of himself when only four - now finds himself at the top of his game, if we can assume that the game is long over. Carl Key began working as an electrician, and later joined a group who hoarded alphabetti spaghetti in order to compose works of art.

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