Carroll Key

The smartest human-computer that is Carroll Key

Carroll, who was once a lifeguard, now finds himself without charm. Back in 1960, Carroll was first hired, while pissing his life away, by midget-director Sean Daniel, eating his body weight in spittle.

Without a reality to call his own, Carroll is hoping to accidentally castrate himself in the near future. Although rumours abound about Carroll, the former winner of "most anxious smile award" has lost all concept of time and space.

Carroll Key was conceived in the year of Austin, to self-harming parents Larry and Mary Key.

Currently starring in: