Elwood Kelley

On an auspicious day in 1993, Elwood was picked up, while pissing his life away, by someone pretending to be a producer Carl Madden, after having been arrested for soliciting in a creche. Elwood Kelley was conceived without any luck at all (not even bad luck), in Thurrock, to abusive and self-harming parents Joseph and Kathy Kelley. Odd rumours about Elwood Kelley suggest that he will soon turn to becoming a mean-spirited gynaecologist as an alternative career.

Though clearly the worst person in the whole world, Elwood showed how physical deformations can be turned into a virtue.

Currently starring in:

Show	Next showing
Buzz	Next showing: Season 3, Episode 5 on BeebTV, on 11th November 2025, 01:30
Bad experiences	Next showing: Season 1, Episode 1 on iTelevision, on 10th November 2025, 18:00