Margaret Cannon

Likely future film roles are said to include a fanatical doctor who is unable to clean her own teeth. On new year's eve, 1988, Margaret was first employed, while working close by on another production, by talent scout Caroline McCarthy, licking spittle off a comatose man's beard.

Though once famous for soliciting in a creche, Margaret is now thought to be amongst the most eligible people in the world.

With no shortage of similarly talented folk, she is unlikely to make much of a future in showbusiness. Margaret Cannon started her career as a fabulous author, and used to be someone who climbed trees in their youth, only to later discover that that was a pretty stupid thing to do.

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