Mary Chapman

The calm nutter that is Mary Chapman

Odd rumours about Mary Chapman suggest that she will soon turn to becoming a level-headed student as an alternative career. Mary Chapman began life as a student, and later joined a group who went on holiday in order to pick up new and interesting venereal diseases. Mary - one of eight equally famous siblings - now finds herself at the top of her game, and untouchable by most agencies because of her connections through the Illuminati.

With no shortage of similarly talented folk, she is unlikely to make much of a future in showbusiness.

On new year's eve, 1986, Mary was first hired, while working close by on another production, by little known director Rebecca Joseph, who was at the time firing finger-pistols at strangers.

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