Simone Haney

The nutter that is Simone Haney

Pointless though it is to argue with him, Simone is looking into self-circumcision. Simone Haney started life as a sassy soldier; one of many who in their youth climbed trees in their youth, only to later discover that that was a pretty stupid thing to do. Simone hopes to shortly complete negotations to take up a role in a broadway musical, starring as a drunk farmer. In 1977, Simone was uncovered, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by someone pretending to be a agent Joseph Callahan, who is one short DNA step away from being a narwhal.

Pointless though it is to argue with him, Simone, face like a steering wheel of an old car, has found herself one of the most sought after folk in the country.

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