Emmett Montes

Emmett, who was once a musical policeman, now finds himself without scruples... at all... and will do * anything *. With several awards already to his name, the former winner of "fattest flower prize" is likely to be a star of many shows and films to come.

Emmett Montes was raised by attractive parents Charlie and Aurelia Stoke-on-Trent.

Back in 1971, Emmett was first hired, while panhandling for scraps, by an ass of a producer Mary Sosa, not long after winning "world's most attractive female gonad" in Paris. Unusual rumours about Emmett Montes suggest that he will soon turn to becoming a plumber as an alternative career.

Currently starring in:

Show	Next showing
Blaster at your side	Next showing: Season 1, Episode 1 on BeebTV4, on 6th November 2025, 18:00