Jewel Cantrell

The thinnest thing that is Jewel Cantrell

Jewel Cantrell began life as an incompetent translator; one of many who in their youth voted in the election that put * that * absolute cretin into power. One of her first roles was as a mean-spirited window cleaner. On an auspicious day in 2007, Jewel was first hired, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by top-director, licking dried and previously chewed gum off a comatose man's beard.

Currently held in prison, Jewel is well, and hoping for that to not change. Rejection letter after rejection letter later, and Jewel became one of the longest running actors in online soap opera history.

Currently starring in: