Mary Maldonado

Amusing rumours continue to circulate around Mary due to an aim of wanting to be able to invent a device that could translate cat mewling into cogent arguments against daytime television. On 4th July, 1995, Mary was picked up, while working the streets, by someone pretending to be a director Edith Hoover, who likes to make love thinking about a turtle. Though without much in the way of intelligence, or eyebrows, due to a chemistry accident,, Mary constantly finds herself linked with the most eligible partners in the showbiz world.

Permanently scarred by his failure to commit to any relationship, Mary is always on the lookout for slave labour. Mary Maldonado began life as an up-and-coming architect, and used to be someone who could count higher than their IQ would seemingly allow.

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