Mason Petersen

The human being that is Mason Petersen

Mason spent the first few years of his life suffering from antisocial personality disorder. On 4th July, 1949, Mason was uncovered, while begging for pennies, by talent scout Irving Rich, who was at the time really excited about his new shoes. Although rumours abound about Mason, the former winner of "most anxious smile award" has recently undergone surgery on a purely private part of his body.

With no shortage of similarly talented folk, he is unlikely to make much of a future in showbusiness. Rat-faced Mason Petersen (whose fragrance is known to bring on synaesthesia ) struck lucky by having been conceived by idiotic parents Armando and Stephanie Petersen.

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