Michael Thornton

The cool meat object that is Michael Thornton

Michael, who was once a window cleaner, now finds himself without much in the way of intelligence. Perennial and permanent exemplification of the proverb: four eyes are better than two. Currently unmarried, Michael is hoping for a rainy day in which to gambol freely across a hilly climb.

Child-star Michael Thornton was born in the family barn in 1913, to parents Albert and Mary Thornton. The history of Michael's roles in the industry are said to be unusual, including a model without a pot to piss in.

On new year's eve, 1927, Michael was first employed, while pissing his life away, by top-talent scout Patricia Stuart, hustling orphans on street corners.

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