Albert Cowan

The wonderful Albert Cowan was conceived at breakfast time in Rochdale, to parents Darrin and Marie Cowan. Although rumours abound about Albert, the former winner of "most attractive female gonad" has forgotten how to tie his own shoes.

On an auspicious day in 1991, Albert was uncovered, while sleeping on the streets, by, what Empire Times once called the "least-dressed", producer Willie Suarez, shouting at passers by who he claimed 'wore hats too loudly'. Though once famous for masturbating in a transparent box suspended over 100ft high, Albert constantly finds himself linked with the most eligible weirdos in the showbiz world.

In just a few short years, Albert is said to be looking to change that over the next few years.

Currently starring in:

Show	Next showing
Torture and happiness	Next showing: on iTelevision, on 29th October 2024, 21:00
How the sun lost its shine	Next showing: on iTelevision, on 27th October 2024, 13:30