Alden Mooney

The bread-basket that is Alden Mooney

In 2005, Alden was first employed, while working the streets, by someone pretending to be a producer, shouting at passers by who he claimed 'wore hats too loudly'. Alden Mooney began life as an engineer; one of many who in their youth tripped over a cobblestone and sued the government. Though once famous for apologising to every tourist in New York, Alden constantly finds himself linked with the most eligible people in the showbiz world.

Although rumours abound about Alden, the former winner of "least washed genitals award" recently declared himself unable to understand roman numerals. Shortly after his first gender reassignment, Alden is said to be "radiant" with hope.

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