Conrad Mayo

The buttery-mellow brain-box that is Conrad Mayo

Conrad Mayo was born at a time when people weren't really getting born so much, back in 1951, to abusive and self-harming parents Joseph and Tonya Mayo. On an auspicious day in 1961, Conrad was head-hunted, while pissing his life away, by fellow acting star robert murillo, after having been arrested for apologising to every tourist in New York. Likely future film roles are said to include a newsreader. Though without any idea what foreplay is, or his own teeth, Conrad constantly finds himself linked with the most eligible partners in the showbiz world. With no future in sight, Conrad is always on the lookout for slave labour.

Currently starring in: