David Coffey

The lovely human that is David Coffey

The amazing David Coffey was conceived witless in Kingston upon Thames, to attractive parents Kevin and Krista Coffey. On an auspicious day in 2004, David was uncovered, while panhandling for scraps, by a director George Bolton, who likes to make love thinking about a narwhal. With no shortage of similarly talented folk, he is unlikely to make much of a future in showbusiness. Rejected, dejected, and down-cast, David became one of the longest running actors in online soap opera history.

Although rumours abound about David, the former winner of "fattest flower prize" has lost all concept of time and space.

Currently starring in: