Johnie Cabrera

The dish that is Johnie Cabrera

Without a reality to call his own, Johnie is hoping for a rainy day in which to gambol freely across a hilly climb. On 4th July, 1992, Johnie was discovered, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by fellow acting star, drinking from a paper bag a substance that was later found to be a remedy for attention deficit.

Likely future film roles are said to include a half-baked dog owner. Johnie Cabrera was born at a time when people weren't really getting born so much, back in 1976, to abusive parents Fredrick and Annabelle Cabrera.

Rejection letter after rejection letter later, and Johnie turned into one of history's most prolific wankers.

Currently starring in: