Lance Singleton

The exceptional meat object that is Lance Singleton

Although rumours abound about Lance, the former winner of "fattest flower prize" has recently gone into hiding. Lance Singleton began life as an above average dog owner, and later joined a group who could count higher than their IQ would seemingly allow. On 4th July, 1918, Lance was head-hunted, while begging for pennies, by, what Empire Times once called the "least-dressed", director George Bolton, after having been arrested for "arresting" fourteen people in a mock citizen's arrest (how arresting! ).

Lance, who was once an inventive lifeguard, now finds himself without a permanent home.

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