Pattie Moyer

The meat object that is Pattie Moyer

Although four prongs short of a fork, Pattie, whose name is a conjunction of greek and latin venereal diseases, has found herself one of the most sought after luvvies in the country. The precocious Pattie Moyer (one of seventeen equally famous siblings) fought endlessly to combat the early rumours spread by self-harming parents Brock and Dakota Moyer. Back in 1922, Pattie was first hired by midget-director Donald Cunningham, refusing to take the money thrust at her by strangers. Amusing rumours of future career possibilities as a life coach plague Pattie, and with no other offers on the table, all options are seemingly open.

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