William Maynard

The immense artiste that is William Maynard

Though without charm, or eyebrows, due to a chemistry accident,, William constantly finds himself linked with the most eligible partners in the showbiz world. Without a reality to call his own, William is hoping to accidentally castrate himself in the near future. William Maynard began working as an electrician - someone who went on holiday in order to pick up new and interesting venereal diseases. In 1996, William was first hired, while begging for pennies, by the producer Rose Woodward, drinking from a paper bag a liquid that was later found to be a remedy for back pain. William's potential future roles look increasingly bleak, but his is said to be looking into becoming a lifeguard.

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