Helen Pitts

The immense biscuit that is Helen Pitts

The history of Helen's roles in the industry are said to be unusual, including a factory worker without the ability to read a map. In 1955, Helen was first employed, while pissing her life away, by director Mike Johns, shouting at passers by who she claimed 'wore hats too loudly'.

Helen Pitts began life as a travel agent, and later joined a group who could count higher than their IQ would seemingly allow. Currently unmarried, Helen is sadly likely to die fairly soon, from either murder, suicide or "by accident".

Helen, who was once a soldier, now finds herself without much in the way of intelligence.

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