Kelvin Garrett

The sweetest dish that is Kelvin Garrett

Although rumours abound about Kelvin, the former winner of "least washed genitals award" was last seen inhabiting small wells in order to frighten young children. Lost and lonely, Kelvin is said to not be looking for any more roles for the near future. Though without a pot to piss in, or the ability to speak at all without feeling ill, Kelvin constantly finds himself linked with the most eligible partners in the showbiz world.

In 2020, Kelvin was picked up, while begging for pennies, by oft-hooded-agent Richard Randall, after having been arrested for some sort of crime.

Kelvin Garrett was born at breakfast time in 1994, to attractive parents Andres and Marietta Garrett.

Currently starring in: