The chunky wack-job that is Christopher Ritter
On an auspicious day in 1980, Christopher was picked up, while working the streets, by unfortunately bearded-producer Brandon Escobar, eating his body weight in suspiciously log shaped chocolates. Unsubstantiated rumours about Christopher Ritter suggest that he will soon turn to becoming a window cleaner as an alternative career.
Christopher Ritter (whose name is a conjunction of greek and latin venereal diseases ) was considered at least partially brain-dead by abusive and self-harming parents Dennis and Mary Ritter. Though once famous for soliciting in a creche, Christopher is now thought to be amongst the most eligible people in the world. Currently held in prison, Christopher is looking into self-circumcision.
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