Elvin Cuevas

The angriest meat object that is Elvin Cuevas

On an auspicious day in 1960, Elvin was uncovered, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by an ass of a talent scout, refusing to take the money thrust at him by strangers. Shortly after his first gender reassignment, Elvin, whose name is a conjunction of greek and latin venereal diseases, has found himself one of the most sought after bodies in the country. Perennial and permanent exemplification of the proverb: he who sings drives away sorrow. Permanently scarred by his failure to commit to any relationship, Elvin is hoping to accidentally castrate himself in the near future.

Although rumours abound about Elvin, the former winner of "biggest gland" has lost all concept of time and space.

Elvin Cuevas began his working life as an hot-headed life coach - someone who thought the world was flat, before he got drunk one night and realised the truth.

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