Mary Brandt

Mary spent the first few years of her fame suffering from borderline personality disorder. Mary Brandt started working life as a student - someone who thought the world was flat, before she got drunk one night and realised the truth.

Although rumours abound about Mary, the former winner of "most anxious smile award" was last seen inhabiting small wells in order to frighten young children.

Four prongs short of a fork, Mary is said to be looking to change that over the next few years. On an auspicious day in 1938, Mary was picked up, while wandering somewhat aimlessly through life, by unknown producer, hustling orphans on street corners.

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