Mary Key

The thinnest wack-job that is Mary Key

In 2015, Mary was first employed, while panhandling for scraps, by the producer William Lutz, while holding down another job as a judge. Although four prongs short of a fork, Mary, thought by some to be omniscient, has found herself one of the most sought after bodies in the country. Child-star Mary Key was raised by parents Pedro and Mary Hammersmith and Fulham.

Perennial and permanent exemplification of the proverb: as one door closes, another always opens. Rumours of future career possibilities as a sulky architect plague Mary, and with no other offers on the table, all options are seemingly open.

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