Satire story: Susan Boyle Too Gross For Royal Ascot Turnstiles

Ascot - (Big Ass Mess): Racing authorities have refused to fork out for winches and hydraulic cherrypicker equipment at the start of tomorrow's five day meeting. But without these or emergency mass-liposuction on her derriere there Susan Boyle Too Gross For Royal Ascot TurnstilesSatire about

Pisces horoscope

Tomatoes can be your best friend - go Red for the day. * This horoscope is not sponsored by Heinz, or the Communist......