Following on from the relatively recent disastrous launches of Batman: Arkham Knight and Assassinâ€™s Creed: Unity, computer game makers have universally agreed to no longer attempt to make any further PC games until they've first been proven to work perfectly on consoles. Mark Adamson, head of Unity Knight Industries 2000, told us:
"We think this is possibly the best idea the industry has had since someone ported E.T. the Game to the Virtual Boy. Absolute genius."
The move, apparently supported by an underground group called the PC Master Race, has so far been successfully floated around social media and notoriously tame websites like 4chan, Reddit and, for some reason, the comments section on IMDb. Adamson continued:
"It's almost certainly the right way round. Developing games for consoles ensures integrity, and that they best maximise existing technologies. Porting them to the PC after a good few sub-versions of the games have been launched via updates ensures that they will work on the PC. The PC is a fickle beast, sort of like women. Damn those fine sexy women. Damn their fickle nature!"
Nintendo are the only major player in the market to not yet comment on the announcement, having apparently been purposefully left out of the conversation. Rumours that this is because Nintendo don't like to share their toys with the other children, have neither been confirmed nor denied.